07 26 2011 MMR Week 3 Kisses, Catharsis and Admiration

Hello All!

Lizzy and her wet shirt from chewing and licking 07 26 2011

Lizzy has been doing well and we are still seeing more changes in her. Yesterday she was up at 5am hyper and all over the place. Her need to lick her fingers and her shirt was very strong until the evening. As you can see in the photo she is doing this often. Some may say so what my kid did that or I did that. Which is true but when Lizzy does it she is filling a need that goes beyond the usual behavior of non -ASD kids.

As the day progressed she tapered off with the licking and went outside to play.  At 4pm she went to her room to look at her books and fell to sleep. She woke up at 930pm and she was very happy. I was thinking she was going to be a fuss pot but not the case. I gave her dinner, she sat and ate, used her fork, asked for more to drink, the whole show. At 1230 am she went to bed on her own. I followed her up to her room and tucked her in. “Good night”, she said and that was it until this morning.

Lizzy’s mood has been even keeled and only small visits from Godzilla (her scream sounds like him) from time to time. For the most part, she has been wonderful. We played outside today and Amelia was blowing up the balloons today. Lizzy was very comfortable with the process and did not back away. Amelia accidentally popped a balloon while Lizzy was next to her. Amelia apologized and Lizzy replied, ” It’s alright, I don’t mind.” Yes!!!! This is the kind of stuff that makes my heart smile. She took a chance, trusted us and now she is comfortable with the possible unpleasantness that might occur. 3 years ago, no way. She would go postal! Thank you God!

Lizzy and Amelia 05 03 2011

Amelia has been going through some healing this week. Lizzy’s Godzilla screaming, and licking has gotten to her. Amelia has been very angry off and on so I asked her what was up. Amelia began with the normal younger siblings are bugging her and all of the small stuff. As we back tracked over her feelings the past few days we discovered that she is angry at the vaccines that “Took her sister from her.” Lizzy behaving the way she has reminds her of how mad she was when Lizzy was diagnosed. The feelings of her prized baby sister being stolen by autism is still a deep wound. Amelia also shared that she was mad at God then, and how hard it has been for her to see her baby sister suffer.  We helped each other through the hurt and realized that we both have a long way to go before we are completely healed.

Lizzy’s going back to go forward and so are we. It is not easy but it must be done. As the day progressed, Amelia and I were doing dishes and listening to music. I was sharing a new song that my sister Cynthia turned me on to and Amelia wanted to share one that she liked.  “Mom when I hear this song, I think this is what you have done for Lizzy and all 9 of us.” I was surprised and thought okay.

Amelia, Amy and Lizzy 2004

The song she played was Because You Loved Me by Celine Dione. Though it was written as a love song, the lyrics went through me like a dagger. I was scrubbing a pot and suddenly every bit of energy and focus I had left me.  I was overcome with tears. All of the stuff that I had inside was being poured out and true catharsis was taking place. Amelia and I hugged each other with all we could muster.  I thanked her for sharing, and how honored I am that she feels this way about me.

Amelia and I talk each other off of the ledge more times than I count. God always provides a kind jailer along the way. The emotional prisons we are in from to time is easier to endure when loved ones are near and lend a helping hand. Thank you God for blessing me with her. Thanks to you Amelia, you are a wonderful young woman!

The rest of the day went well and Lizzy is very affectionate and engaging. As I write this entry Lizzy is asking for kisses. I accommodated her 5 or 6 times and told her to let me finish. Lizzy skipped off and said “Kiss.” I told her to come back and I would kiss her. With a vibrant smile on her face she walked over to me and I placed a huge kiss on her cheek. The energy in her at that moment was wonderful. She is very happy today and I hope it continues.

Tomorrow is a new day and another chance to change and evolve. May God continue to bless every family with the courage, patience, healing and understanding we need to triumph over any trial, including autism.

Good night and sweet dreams to all.

07 24 11 MMR Round 2 Just When You Think You’ve Got It Licked

Lizzy the hairdresser 07 22 2011

We will be starting our 3rd week of our second MMR clearing on Monday. Our second attempt has been going pretty well. One old behavior that has come to the surface is licking. Lizzy has been licking her hands and arms off and on for the past three weeks. This behavior started before the MMR so the Carcinocin brought it to the surface before we began our second round.

The licking had tapered off completely until her second dose of the 200C MMR. Her first tooth is finally out, so that is not the cause for sure. Here we are changing her shirts throughout the day and trying to channel her need to lick things. Toys, organic lollipops, chewy items are not enough to fill the need. But on the other hand, Lizzy is doing well and her speech clarity has returned. So it is all good. We have to go back in order to go forward. That is a constant.

Lizzy has recently started to engage in more imaginative play. Pretending to be a hairdresser is the latest. Thanks to a recent Simpsons episode she has been pretending to cut Gabriel’s hair and mine. It is so cute. Go Lizzy go!

Lizzy was recently asked to say grace before dinner. She placed each of her hands on the persons next to her and thanked God for our meal. Some of her words were muddled but the look on her face was one of true sincerity. Another adorable moment. Without these little gems this journey would be much more difficult. Thank you God. It is the little things throughout the day that fuel an autistic child’s loved ones to keep going. Without them we would be lost in a sea of despair.

We all have been playing outside and all is well with the masses. Lemonade, sprinklers, water balloon fights you name it we’re doing it outside. After the long winter we experienced being outside is the place to be. Lizzy is fascinated with balloons and water balloons are no exception.

Lizzy 07 24 2011 Balloon triumph

Lizzy will bring me a balloon to blow up and then she will walk away and squawk. She  sounds like Godzilla when she does it. That is her way of saying she is not sure, or she needs help. (Another old behavior)

Lizzy is not sure what will happen with the balloon. These balloons are very thin and they pop easy so after the 8th or 9th time of blowing them up for her, she stopped being uncomfortable and trusted the process. With every balloon I blew up she came closer and closer to me. I hold out the balloon and wait for her to come and get it from me. I want it to be her decision not mine.Trust is a big one for her. How can she feel safe when her environment has been one of loud noises, pain and confusion? When trust is finally embraced by Lizzy we are going to see another big shift in her. How true this is for all of us. Trust is huge part of who we are. It can either make us or break us.

When we started using homeopathy I just wanted her to feel better. No more pain, sleepless nights, screaming for hours. All of these things were a part of her everyday life. Now it is only from time to time and with less severity. She is feeling better since we addressed the parasite issue and now it is time to address her spirit. We are all mind, body and spirit and I feel that Lizzy is reaching out to the spiritual part of life. She will be going to see her osteopath this Thursday and he is always able to get her more in touch with herself. I might be wrong, but it feels like this is the direction she is going in at this point. If we are wrong, she will show us and we will shift gears if necessary.  Either way I am so glad that she is feeling better. Our poor baby girl. There is nothing worse than having your child ill and no one knows what to do for her. That all changed with homeopathy and osteopathy. It is what works for her and I am so grateful to God that we found what she needs.

Willy and Lizzy 2010

Lizzy has recently acquired a room-mate. She and her brother Willy are sharing a room. Willy has a great natural ability to engage and teach. He treats her like any other kid. This is exactly what she needs now. He is inventive, fun and willing to accommodate her without enabling her bad habits. Thanks Will, you are an awesome bro!

Last year we painted Lizzy’s room a wonderful pale green and now she is in need of something new. Color therapy is wonderful. Having less stimulating saturated colors are perfect for her and us. I never realized its profound impact until I researched it. We have to be very careful when choosing colors for our home and clothing. Their impact can be very calming or too stimulating. Last thing we need is another over stimulating thing she has to wrap her head around.

Willy and Lizzy’s room will be painted with pale lavender and pale yellow with deep orange accents. Purple is used to get in touch with one’s spirituality and I find that it calms her when she is exposed to it. Yellow is a cheerful color and orange encourages social behavior and creativity. All good stuff. Plus this room gets a lot of wonderful cleansing sunlight. I will attempt to have a couple of blooming planters in the room also. Lavender plants or something else that is calming and pleasant to smell. So on a shoestring budget we are repainting and reusing stuff we already have. Hopefully by the end of next week their new room will be finished. Change is always good, I need it or I can become very bored or uninspired. Todd and the rest of the kids agree, it is time for a change.

Howard 07 15 2011

Baby Howard has moved into her old room and is sleeping 12 hours a night. THANK YOU JESUS!!! This little guy needs to be alone. He can sense when anyone is in the room so he wakes up during the night if he hears anyone nearby. Hold me, love me, play with me. What else could one want out of life? With 7 willing sets of arms in his midst life is grand! But these loving peeps need their sleep so he is sleeping solo for now. Lizzy is still very receptive to her youngest brother. When Lizzy does have a meltdown or screams Howard looks at her as if to say, what is wrong? This little guy is a fast learner. With all of us to bounce off of it is no wonder.

Gabriel and his enzyme cleaner 07 2011

Lizzy’s current behavior and even keeled status has allowed us to address other things that are in need of attention. Gabriel and I have been making some lemon enzyme cleaner out of the lemons we use to make lemonade. Our recent science lesson has been a great time for us to hang together. With all of the lemonade we have been making this summer we should have enough cleaner to take us to next summer. (At least we hope.)  One of the cleaners take 3 months to germinate so we will not know how our science experiment will turn out until then. But in the mean time we are boiling some of the lemon rinds and using them around the house. Inexpensive, nontoxic and great smelling. Yeah! No more glass cleaner or all-purpose cleaners to buy.  Plus fleas do not like lemon so we put it on our dogs with a little lavender or mint oil which makes them smell wonderful.

All of these little projects are keeping us busy and teaching us how to heal, reuse and hopefully free up more money to pay more bills. That is always good. Lizzy’s condition  has facilitated numerous opportunities  to learn and try new things. We eat better, we feel better and we are growing right along with her.  Out of disaster comes opportunity. Hopefully more opportunities will continue to present themselves and God will guide us to a healthy humble place. What more can we hope for?

Until next time…

07 16 2011 Seconds and Firsts

Hello All!

First day of MMR 30C Clearing: 07 11 2011

Second Day of MMR 30C Clearing 07 14 2011

Current symptoms: Chapped lips, depressed spirits, intolerance to other siblings, low-interest in activities (old or new)

Current Remedy: Carcinocin 30C

Last dose: 07 16 2011

Number of days since last dose: 13 (07 03 2011)

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We started round two of the MMR clearing last Monday and so far so good. There are not too many changes with the low 30C potency and that is okay. The higher potencies are the ones that really get things moving.

Lizzy has been doing well and pretty content most of the time, until the last two days. This is the reason I gave her the Carcinocin again. Her spirits lifted some afterwards so that is always good. I do not want to give her the remedy too often. Less is better when it comes to homeopathy, so I wait it out with her and myself. I have been feeling down myself lately. This carcinocin is an emotional roto rooter, but once the line is clear, it’s clear.

Lizzy has been placing her hands in her mouth a lot lately. I thought it was an old symptom coming to the surface. Her past habits of licking things led me to believe that her sensory issues were back again. But that is not the case. She has her first loose tooth.

The tooth seems okay and she is content with it. Her speech has been off and on at this point. Her choice of words are new and her imaginative play has kicked in, so it’s all good.

Lizzy, Amelia, Matthew, Katie and I went out to lunch together this week and it went pretty well. Lizzy was talking loudly in the restaurant and I told her to lower her voice several times. Finally I told her if she did not stop she would have to go to the car. “Oh my God, Gosh”, was her reply to my adamant statement. As my heart smiled, she looked at me as if to say okay, relax I’ll stop. And she did. Thank God, because having to follow through might mean her screaming the whole way to the car for a time out. Fortunately, all went well and we had a good time.

Lizzy and I were singing to each other today and she suddenly looked kind of sad. I asked her what was wrong and she said “I’m bored”. Another first. I asked what else she wanted to do and she said “Scooby Doo”. So off she went to watch a Scooby Doo show for a while. Her next request was “Cookies”. I agreed and handed her some organic ginger cookies and she looked at them and said “No, chocolate”. Okay, well we do not have any chocolate.  She accepted the weak replacement and went on her merry way. Lizzy is not having melt downs very often anymore and we are very pleased about that.

Until…..

Ian and I went upstairs to bathe our dogs and I left Martin and Amelia in charge until I got back. Martin decided to go upstairs and Howard was protesting because he did not want to be in his playpen any longer, so Lizzy gets upset and bangs her head on a small glass window pane leading to a seasonal porch. She managed to crack the glass. It did not break, it just cracked. No injuries sustained, thank God. Another first. I am surprised it did not happen before today. These old homes have a lot of thin glass panes on doors but through the grace of God all was okay.

Of course this incident jump-starts a lengthy lecture on following through, following directions and glass safety. I do not know if Lizzy will do it again but her siblings got an ear full.  Except for the fact that I get to replace a small window pane tomorrow, all is well. Oh brother! This entire month has been one challenge after another. Now that Lizzy has leveled off and everyone is sleeping through the night, all of the other stuff around us is challenging. Is that life or what?

Another first. I must be going through some hormonal changes because I am a real hot head. Literally! Is this what menopause is like? How fun is this? Well off to my books I go and find that Ferrum Phos 6X (cell salt) is great for this. It has helped very much, but I am still having bouts from time to time. Now I am off on a new journey with myself. Hope all will level off and facilitate more healing for all of us. Does it ever end? No way.

I must say that without all of the other challenges of life Lizzy is doing well. Man I wish everything would just taper off. Finances, fleas, septic tanks, broken glass all of this stuff makes for a full rich day. Yikes! But it could be worse. With all of the stuff going on in the world, my chaotic life is still simplistic in comparison. May God grant me the strength to continue and persevere.

The full moon has not been a drag for Lizzy and that is something, for sure. The past few years of her being upset have been replaced with other $%@&. This stuff we can endure, as long as we are all going forward, and Lizzy is slowly getting better.

I hope and pray that more healing will be made available and our baby girl will continue to heal. What else can I ask for? Not much. May God grant us the strength and resources we need to complete our journey. Through the grace of God all will be level soon.

Sweet Dreams!