03 18 2011 Dealing and Healing

Hello All!

Here is what we have today!                                                  

Lizzy's new apron 03 21 2011

Current Symptoms:  jumping on her bed at night, noise sensitivity, impatience with needs being met,  pushing on lower abdomen, passing of small string like parasite, constipation (small clusters with mucus)

note: all symptoms are old and resurfacing with less severity

 Positive Behaviors:  more talking and singing, VERY affectionate!

Current Remedy: Cina 200C

# of days since last dosing: 6 (03/15/2011)

Days of Uninterrupted Sleep: 9

***********************************************************************

Lizzy and John 03 2011 Music Therapy

Well Lizzy has been sleeping well and she has been doing good.  She is still very affectionate and full of hugs and kisses. This is always good!

Lizzy passed another parasite and I am still not sure what kind it is exactly. I need to send in her sample to have it tested soon. These procedures are not covered by insurance up front.  Out of pocket always has to be accounted for ahead of time so we will do it as soon as possible.

 I am so glad that the Cina is still working on moving these things out. This is the second time this one parasite has displayed itself. I hope and pray that this lab work will help us to establish exactly what we are dealing with. If it doesn’t, then there it is. The negative lab reports in the past did not prevent our homeopath from making an accurate assessment of what remedy Lizzy needs. My money is on God and her.

As stated in earlier posts I am on a remedy to help me to deal. I have come to a    conclusion. Grief is still the heart of my problem. This includes every aspect of my life. There are two factors that are especially fresh in my heart. Lizzy’s autism and how our family has changed because of it.

Lizzy, Toddo and Gabriel 2007

In addition, Todd and I do not talk about taking on the world. We talk about how it is beating us up and how we need to fix it. With all of these topics eating up our day there is little time for spontaneity and fun. Todd and I have always had an ability to talk to each other about anything. It is one thing we love to do with each other. But lately I can not gather the enthusiasm to share anything. My emotions are on a roller coaster ride.  Finally my remedy has kicked in and I am feeling a lot better. This must be exactly how Lizzy feels. It is the same pattern.  

Todd getting ready for our wedding 10 28 1990

Todd and I have been here before. It happens from time to time in any marriage. Our 20 year journey together has been filled with every emotion imaginable. And honestly I have to say, I still adore this man the same way I did 20 years ago. Currently that adoration is coupled with more compassion, respect and admiration. Trials in life allow us to see who people really are and this man is an incredibly loving, giving individual. With 85% of couples with autistic children getting  divorced I am so grateful that God continues to guide us back to our rightful place. The trial of autism beats one down to their knees. And understandably so. When one’s child is suffering the parents and those who love them suffer right along side them.  

Fortunately we have homeopathy which moves all of the old emotional junk out in to the foreground so one

Amy getting ready 10 28 1990

 can deal. And that is exactly what we need. Before, all of my feelings were being covered up with daily chores, finances, grief, therapies, research and habits. It is not something that Todd and I wanted for each other, but it happened. Thank God we caught it now and are willing to change.

As I was looking through old family photos I realized how different we look now. I do not mean our weight or hair and skin. I mean our eyes. We do not look joyful anymore. We look sad, haggard and beat up. And rightfully so. We feel that way most of the time.  Todd and I have decided this will not work any longer. We can not allow the stresses of life to take over. What kind of example are we setting for our kids and what kind of marriage will have 5 years from now? My guess is it would be a very flat existence. We would be going through the motions and nothing else. We are going to welcome these two joyful people back into our lives. Their names are Todd and Amy we miss them very much.

Todd and Amy 2005

Well there is nothing like a little time together. Todd and I went out for about 4 hours last Sunday and had an awesome time together. No schedule or agenda no set destination. I would keep driving and when I came to an intersection we would decide at that moment where to go next. This is exactly what we used to do. Spontaneity and adventure, it was great fun.

 As we approached home Todd gently reminded me that no matter what might be happening, do not lose the joy from the fun we just had. I accepted this reminder and all went well. I did have to remind myself a couple of times when the kids were acting up. But for the most part we had a great day together. I pulled myself out of it. I decided to not let it ruin my groove.

This is what homeopathy does. It helps one deal and heal. It is not an immediate answer. It takes time and effort. What I love is, it brings it to the foreground so one can look at it and heal. I am so grateful for this healing modality. In the past I took meds for depression after having Lizzy. It was postpartum stuff.  It helped with the symptoms, but not the cause. I took it for about 4 months and I was putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. It was never going to be enough. It only suppressed my feelings. Now all of the old baggage I have been carrying around is being discarded in a healthy, permanent manner.

Lizzy continues to do well and the largest moon in a very long time did not wake her up. She is falling to sleep later than usual, but she is staying asleep. Thank God! The loss of sleep is something that is very damaging to a person’s mind, body and spirit. I hope this phase of sleepless nights is over forever. I am very encouraged with Lizzy’s progress and mine. Thank you God!

I have to say again to everyone, try to find the joy. Place it back in your lives. Before it is too late. Without it we can not fight the battle of autism recovery. We must arm ourselves with love, joy and peace in addition to faith and hope. I pray that all people being touched by autism will recover right along with their kids and be realised from the emotional prison they are in. I have served 3 years so far and I wish to no longer stay there. I want to be joyful again!!!  I want to completely enjoy all of the beautiful gifts God has given to me. Without real joy one can not see what He has placed in our path. I thank you Jesus for opening my heart and mind. I thank Him for his grace and mercy in saving my marriage and freeing me of past baggage. For all things come from Him, including homeopathy. It is a gift.

May God continue to heal our mind, body and spirit. May He give us the strength we all need for our family’s recovery.

One thought on “03 18 2011 Dealing and Healing

  1. I relate so much to your words. You know, it wasn’t until I began taking homeopathy and feeling so much better that I realized the hole I had been in for so long. I wrote about it in January under “Good Stuff”, after experiencing the best Christmas in years! I recognize that now I am not as disturbed when Dante is in a very bad place. It is easier for me to comfort him without going down the whole of self-pity myself. My husband is not fully in a good place yet, and I feel stronger for him as well. I want to feel alive while this healing is happening. I don’t want to feel like I have to wait for it to be complete so that I may actually “have a life”.

    One of my favorite sayings is, “the journey is the destination”. Finding the joy in this time is, by all means, “having a life”. God Bless You so much in your journey, and show you the joy in each little thing your day and family brings. This goes for all our families!

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