07 30 2010 Mint Condition ?

Lizzy woke up very well and is in a pretty good mood. Not as good as yesterday, but good.

Little screaming, licking of furniture, but affectionate. She is talking and communicating.

Lizzy helped Amelia and I gut Matthew’s, Gabriel and Willy’s room. She helped with the books and hung out.

We cleaned everything with mint and vanilla. Maybe the mint was too stimulating. Oops! That could be what is making  her more hyper than yesterday. As stated before, she was not at the top of her game today, who knows.

As the day progressed she became more hyper and into everything.  Her diet has not changed, and there are no new things introduced. We clean with mint every month or so.  Maybe I used too much today.

We had a very nice dinner together. Her appetite was pretty good. She ate Thai curry (mild) with chicken. jasmine rice and green beans. After that she had a bath in lavender oil and a massage. This calmed her down quite a bit.

Now at 840 pm we are getting Matthew, Katie and Lizzy ready for bed, and it is not going as smooth as usual.

Dad came home early so everything changes. The kids automatically alter the routine. It really doesn’t have to be. They always think the rules change when one thing is slightly modified. Remember the substitute teacher? Yikes!

I am going to cool it on the mint and see what happens. Could be something, could be nothing. But I am going to keep it in mind.

I have been reading Is This Your Child by Doris Rapp M.D. and it is amazing what kind of allergies and environmental factors impact us. Especially in my family. There are allergies on both sides. My mom and dad suffer year round. We do not know about Todd’s.

So another factor to consider. Again our precious Lizzy brought us to a point where we are more informed and aware of ourselves. God’s purposes. They are so amazing.

Well, through God’s grace we will have a calm night and pleasant dreams.

Sweet dreams to all!

07 29 2010 Lizzy Will Beat It

07 29 2010 Lizzy toy box

Good Morning Lizzy!

She was up at 6am and pretty happy. She came downstairs ate and played.

No major outbursts today! Praise God!

Lizzy was playing the keyboard  and Katie came up and started to touch the keys. Lizzy gently removed her hands and said  “No baby not now”. It was so adorable. Katie completely complied with her request. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lizzy came up to me and asked to read to her. She is definitely better than she was a few days ago. What goes down must come back up. Praise God!!


As some of you know, Willy LOVES Michael Jackson and loves dancing to Beat It. Lizzy loves this tune. She joined in and was watching herself  in the mirror. What a great time she had.

Lizzy will Beat It, “No one wants to be defeated” and we won’t. WE are going to see how “strong is her fight.” It might be difficult some days but we are going to Beat It!

We heard from Connecticut Music Therapy. We have an appointment on August 9th for an evaluation. Hopefully it will be fruitful. How wonderful that would be. I think a class such as this is just what she needs.

As of 9 pm all is well. Lizzy is still  not screaming and very cooperative.

May God shine His light upon her and heal our precious girl. Prayer you can’t beat it!

Sweet dreams to all!

07 28 2010 A Break in the Gloom

07 28 2010 Lizzy

Thank you so much for your prayers. Lizzy is more like her pleasant self today. More affectionate, talking more, less intense.

Hopefully this will continue to improve for the next 14 days. Remember we are waiting 3 weeks until we start the hep B again.

Lizzy enjoyed her favorite foods today. Kosher pickles, hard salami . The market that carries her favorite kind has been out of stock. She was eating them with such gusto, I said to Todd in her place.

“It’s about time I get to eat some pickles. The last two days have been pretty sparse!”

Lizzy replies “Yeah!” It was so cute!!!!!

Todd stayed home today because we thought Howard was going to arrive, no such luck yet.

07 28 2010 lizzy laughing

Lizzy as you can see to your right was in such better spirits. Thank you God! WE all needed today. He is merciful indeed!

We did manage to find a music therapy consultant that will come to the house and work with Lizzy. She will be starting in the fall. I pray that this will be more fruitful than past instructors. God willing it will be something that she will enjoy. Plus I would love for her to connect with her teacher on a deep level.

07 28 2010 Lizzy loves kosher pickles B

As of 10 pm she is fast asleep and very content. God willing tomorrow will be better and the rain coming our way will not be upsetting to her. She really misses going outside to play when it rains. What kid doesn’t?

Again, thank you all for your prayers!

Sweet dreams to all

July 25, 26, 27 Storms, Storms, Storms

Well we are finally back online. Due to the storms and such all of our computers went crazy.

Lizzy has been screaming, whinning, not talking much and just plain difficult. It is impacting everyone in the house. We are all getting punchy.

She went outside for a bit and played with the hose. It took about 30 minutes for her to ask to go out instead of standing at the front door screaming. I would not let her go outside until she stopped. This screaming is out of control. She does it for everything.

Last night she was up most of the night screaming and being very hyper. she finally gave up at 6am. Boy are we going backwards again! Hopefully, this old stuff will lessen soon.

Her noise sensitivity is a tad better but everything else is terrible. Everything is so intense with her. Not mention, everyone in the house is tense.

This is the kind of stuff that most people do not realize about autism. It is a condition that impacts everyone around that person.   What else can we do? We are doing everything possible but still it is a hard road. This is true for anyone who has an ill loved one. It slowly breaks you down. Hopefully it will break down the old person and leave room for a new birth. The birth of better and stronger people who will have learned a great deal from the storms of life. This is our goal. Honestly, today I am not finding much comfort, my emotions have wrestled my logic straight to the ground and it is pinned to the mat.

I can’t give in to it. WE must keep going and ride the storm. Oh the storms! The electrical storms we had killed our computers that we use for communication. Lizzy’s communication has also been stifled by the regressive autism storm.

Storms always mean change. In movies it is used all of the time. Rain, thunderstorms, always mean a shift with the character that is being shown. Change is on the horizon I know that. Sometimes it’s just plain difficult to remember it.

Through the grace of God it will end soon and we will  be given the strength to keep going.  We are so tired. Our hearts, our minds. We have been through the ringer the last month or so. What else can we do but go on? We must persevere and have faith. What else would we do for someone who we love so much?

Tomorrow is a new day and another chance. This is what I hold on to, and teach my kids to do also. Especially, Ian, Amelia and Martin they are at an age where they are seeing that life is not easy. Like I tell them, “If someone is telling you life is easy, they are trying to sell you something”. Yes life is full of wonderful happy moments but there are also flat tires, sick dogs, broken limbs and broken hearts. It is all part of the journey.

So, I am going to make some organic popcorn and organic chocolate milk and try to comfort the entire tribe. Including the female chief.

Sweet dreams to all.

07 24 2010 Behaving Rather Autistic Today

07 24 2010 Lizzy 930am

Good Morning Elizabeth!

She slept through the night! Yeah!!!

But old habits still came to a head. Screaming, jumping, licking herself (arms) or whatever toy is near by. She was trying to get her way by throwing a fit. We had to cut her off by placing her in a timeout in her room 3 times.

When she acts like this her behavior is very autistic. It has taken us awhile to decipher bratty behavior from autistic behavior and needs. That has been an incredible challenge. We do not want to encourage bad behavior just because she has special needs.

Not only that, what message would we be sending to our other children? She is held accountable like the others.

Katie 07 24 2010 "Beans beans"

As of 8pm she has mellowed out quite a bit. She did not want to eat dinner with us. Too bad because, we had homemade chicken flautas with rice and black refried beans. Gabriel made the tortillas and they were VERY GOOD! Homemade salsa, guacamole the works! Everyone else loved them.

Katie loved the beans!!! She is just like Amelia and Gabriel when it comes to food. Very adventurous. Maybe she will influence Matthew, he is still finicky. All in good time.

The full moon is tomorrow. Let’s see if her behavior improves even more. Matthew and Katie have been waking up too. So Mom and Dad are about as crispy as the flautas we had for dinner.

Lizzy 2007 old behavior

All of this old behavior has to come to the surface so we can eliminate it. As much as I know that it is still difficult for everyone. Just now I had to stop typing because she was having a meltdown. Lizzy was trying to bang her head on the floor.

Oh, man. With God’s help we will have a good night and a better tomorrow.

Sweet Dreams

07 23 2010 What A Night! What A Day!

07 23 2010 Lizzy 10 am

Well Lizzy was up most of the night with “Terminal Goldilocks Syndrome”. She did not know what she wanted or needed. Cat naps all night.

Screaming, pulling on her lip, skipping, throwing fits. She has reverted back to all of these old behaviors.

As of 230 pm she has calmed down a little. Her speech is not as clear and she is not speaking as much. What can I say, she is upset. No matter what we do.

As of 3pm she is having a fit because she can’t go outside in the rain. We are having rain for the next three days. Yikes! I pray that she will accept the weather and comply with us.

The power has been going off and on and the symbolism is amazing. That is exactly how I am. Power on. Power off.

The plus is that Lizzy loves candles. I do too. The safety factor is the only drag. I read that one can cleanse a room with candles. My mom gave me a great mixture to clean with that also can clear a room of funky energy. Mint extract and vanilla. It smells wonderful. Don’t have any proof that it works but it is non toxic and inexpensive. I do it as often as I can.

It’s about 8 pm and she has improved some. We did some more flash cards and she was reading them very easily. These cards are nouns with color descriptions. ie: yellow car.

I was looking for a certain card in our adobe file and speeding right through them. She was watching every single one. Todd has the ability to scan through images quickly. I can’t. Watching him look for things online makes me dizzy. His dyslexia enables him to do it with ease. Maybe Lizzy is dyslexic also. Would not surprise me in the least.

Yo, Amelia here. Sorry I haven’t been contributing, but Lizzy’s condition is hard for me to express my feelings about.

Well, like Mom said Lizzy’s been very iffy today. I don’t pull night shifts. I have in the past, and when she gets like that it’s very hard and stressful. She seems to be in her own world again today. Which is very hard for me ’cause I get all excited when I see her old behavior go away. I think it’s for good, and then it comes back with a vengeance. True sometimes one must go back to go forward, but it is no fun to see our lovely little Lizzy trapped in her old stuff again.

Today, when Dad did the cards with Lizzy she totally loved it. It’s sweet how the two of them hang together. She was playing “Up we go, down we go” with Dad today. Dad lifts Lizzy up and down while saying “Up we go” when she goes up, and “Down we go” when she goes down. I swear the expression of joy on their faces is so sweet and heartwarming it’s amazing. Those little joys are what help all of us get through the stroms.

As 10:55pm Lizzy is sleeping soundly. Hpoefully we will ALL sleep through the night. I pray we do.

Goodnight all, sweet dreams.

07 22 2010

07 22 2010 Lizzy 645 am

Good Morning Lizzy.

Last night Lizzy fell to sleep at 11:30pm and woke up this morning at 6am. Much better than Monday night. Let’s hope today is better than yesterday.

She is still grunting and being finicky. Asking for something to eat and then she does not want it. Yikes! This is usually an indication that we will have this behavior all day.

Goldilocks Awakens

“Goldilocks Syndrome”, is what I call it. Too hard, too soft, nothing is satisfying. Maybe it will just be this morning, lets hope and see. I have a real intolerance for this kind of behavior, but not with Lizzy. She is just a child, how can I get mad at her or think that she knows what she is doing.

Baby Lizzy and Amy

There are plenty of people out in the world with a serious case of this condition. We encounter them on the road and all public places. Woe to those around them who have to contend with this selfish behavior. Too bad I am not ready to extend this grace to everyone, but with Lizzy’s help I will see the light.

Having a child that is not well is a very intense awakening. Slowly your own layers of inadequacies are revealed. They are being peeled back to reveal a clearer picture.  Things that you thought were so necessary and important aren’t anymore. Your sense of priorities shift in a way that has to be felt in your own skin. No one can describe it to you. In order to feel its complete impact one has to experience it personally. That is when people truly understand and are riled to action.

This is the second time for us (Amelia) and I pray that we are harvesting all of the lessons that God is presenting to us. Maybe we are or maybe we aren’t. But trying and being aware of God’s presence in orchestrating these lessons is incredibly powerful also.

07 22 2010 Lizzy playing with her kitchen

As of 9:30am Lizzy is more engaging and aware of other people’s presence. Her baby bro and sis are hanging out alongside her, and she is playing with them some part of the time.

That’s something! She is allowing me to be affectionate with her also. Yesterday she did not want to be touched by anyone.  That one always hurts. It is too close to the bone.

07 22 2010 Lizzy 1 pm

As of 1pm Lizzy is playing and fairly content. No screaming, whinnying or outbursts. Thank God!! She was playing when the lawn maintenance man arrived and mowed. No complaints. Another plus!

Her sensitivity seems to have lessened and hopefully after the full moon  arrives we will have an easier time.

Some people do not think the moon affects us, I disagree. If Lizzy is more sensitive than it makes even more sense. We had this same thing last summer.

It can not be the remedy because she was on different one’s last year. Would love to get more exact info. on the subject. Have one book that was very informative but did not answer all of my questions. I need specificity in order to make an accurate change.  Any recommendations are welcome. Again, story for another time.

07 22 2010 2pm

Lizzy and the gang were out playing and running up and down. She and Gabriel are quite the team. She loves to run!

As of 4pm she is more social and affectionate again. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She has been chewing on things again. Plush toys, anything she can get in her mouth.

Spoke to Dori Vallis ND at 430pm.  We are going to wait until Lizzy is ready and then restart the hep B detox again. My guess is we can start in about 3 weeks.

A new count down begins. I am so anxious to see what changes will occur in the next 21 days. No Cuprum or Hep B. We will still continue with the supplements and the Sacc Off .  If you don’t remember the Sacc Off is derived from cane sugar to help her digestion. No problems with her digestion at all. Most autistic kids have a heck of a time with constipation or diarrhea.

This should be interesting, Lizzy’s baby brother is due to arrive around the same time.

As of 8 pm she is content and playing outside with her brothers. I pray that we have a calm night and that deep healing occurs in the next 21 days. God willing the next 3 weeks will be a time of great change and education.

07 21 2010 Stormy Weather

Lizzy slept through the night. We broke down and gave her some Melatonin to try to regulate her sleep cycle.

Her O.D.  and N.D. feel that is ok to help regulate patterns but not everyday. I completely agree.

We had a really neat summer storm today. Thank God Lizzy was not upset by it. The thunder sounded like gun shots. Amazing, she was totally unaffected by it. She napped through most of it.

Her day was similar to yesterday, not much talking just playing off on her own.  She was not aggressive so that is something.

Still giving the supplements and staying on course. Will have a phone consult with Dori Vallis this week. Hopefully we will have some answers and some change.

Will keep you posted!

07 20 2010

07 20 2010 Lizzy and Dad

Well last night was an absolute challenge. Lizzy did not go to sleep until 7am this morning.

Her screaming and such woke up Matthew and Katie so we had 3 dueling banjos.

She woke up at 12:30pm and is not talking very much. She has been interacting with her Daddy more, but she is very quiet.

07 20 2010 Lizzy and keyboard

Playing with the keyboard and listening to certain selections at a very loud level is what she wanted to do early in the day.

The house was very quiet so she was not trying to drown out sound in her enviroment. This was in a room without any other source of sound. Not even an air conditioner is in this room.

Daddy turned it down and she stopped what she was doing and turned it up again.

Very curious. Her noise sensitivity does not come into play during these times. I personally find it to be too loud, but not her.

My guess is that pitch is what determines her sensitivity. High pitched sounds are the ones that impact her the most.  This feels like the right direction. Her hearing might be so acute that certain pitches dramatically affect her.

Phil and Lisa 2010

Willy 2004

I know that we have certain family members that have an incredible sense of smell. My sister Lisa, son Willy and myself. When Willy was about  2 he would say,

“Shh do you smell that noise?” And he is the first to alert us to any odor that is out of the ordinary. I think he has acute hearing and sense of smell.  And Lizzy is on an even deeper level. Think it would be worth it to pursue this further.

Researched the auditory testing recommended by Temple Grandin and the woman is in Colorado. Need to call and see if she knows of anybody on the east coast. Telephone calls still beat the internet when it comes to things like this. A real person can shine light upon things or lead you in a direction one never considered. So let’s wait and see. Homeopathy can help with these issues but I feel the more we know the more we can help.

07 20 2010 Lizzy and puzzle

Music seems to be her main interest these days. Another layer? Or is it something that has been revealed that was hidden before. Oliver Saks writes these amazing stories about his patients that have had neurological damage. After the injuries  they have this new fascination and incredible understanding of music. Maybe, have to wait and see.

07 19 2010 Dilutions, Dilutions

07 19 2010 Lizzy

Well Lizzy was not able to go to sleep last night. She was very hyper and screaming to get her way.

Skipping in a circle, spinning, running you name it, she was doing it last night until midnight.

I eventually put her to bed and hoped for the best. No such luck. I administered a Cuprum dilution ( 3 drops in 1 cup, one tsp. out) within 5 minutes she was calm. I sat on her bed and was rubbing her back.

She turned and looked at me, “You alright, you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay, are you okay? You are the one screaming.” She did not reply.

She positioned herself in a comfy spot and I cuddled up next to her. Here we were again, Lizzy, her plush animals and me. If I stopped touching her she would take my hand and place it back on her back.

She likes when I use my index finger and middle finger and gently run them along her spine. She prefers this to just rubbing. I apply a little pressure so it doesn’t tickle, but within 15 minutes she was very calm.

Again she moved herself closer to me and looked at me as if to say. Sorry for today!

“It’s okay Baby go to sleep, just go to sleep”, I said.

It is amazing, how God gives you little bits to keep you going. Thanks!

07 19 2010 Lizzy happy

Lately, I have been very emotional about Lizzy. I just want her to get better. When using homeopathy we go back in order to go forward. Logically, I KNOW THIS!! Still that fear inside me slips in and momentarily I feel that she will regress even further and she will be stuck there.  Pray, pray, pray.

I have read two books that have changed me intensely regarding Lizzy and all of my kids. One was Impossible Cure by Amy Lansky and He’s Not Autistic But…. By Tenna Merchant. What these two courageous women have in common is that they both strongly recommend constant prayer to recover and heal their children.  They are so correct. That is what I do also, it helps Lizzy and myself. Hope, hope, hope.

07 19 2010 Lizzy and Daddy

Todd decided to shave off his beard and Lizzy noticed.

She came up to him and touched his chin “I want it!” Amazing. When she was a baby she would run her fingers through his beard and pull on it. Very cute!

Why does she choose to talk only when something really affects her? Strong willed personality? These layers need to be peeled back just like an onion. One at a time. Isn’t it funny how they both make one cry.

katie upset

Lizzy has been very territorial and today she pushed Katie twice. Katie was not accepting that and pushed her back. We are going to keep them under constant supervision and separate when possible. Looks like Lizzy is in for a rude awakening. Katie is not willing to do what Matthew did. Lizzy is messing with the wrong girl. Katie is very sweet and kind but she also stands up for herself. Good for her!

As of 8pm Lizzy has calmed down a little bit. I gave her another Cuprum dilution (3 drops in one cup of water, one tsp. out) she is like a crazed weasel. Screaming, pushing, protesting, all of it!  Dear God help us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I sit here with my heart in pieces, Martin entered the room. Matthew was playing with Amelia, and Matthew says to Martin ” What’s up Buddy”. He has never said that before. I needed that chuckle and ray of sunshine to my heart.

Man, sometimes this is hard!

I fall apart , put myself back together and go on. God is giving me the strength. He is carrying me through moments like this, I just can’t do it alone. Even my “Angels of Mercy”, can not penetrate this woe.

Tomorrow is a new day and we will greet it and do our best. What else can we do?